Death do us part'
by love the unknown
Summary: The cullens left. Bella tries to kill herself and the cullens find her. What happens? Does she survive? Can she forgive tham for breaking her? First fanfic:


**Ok so this is my first fanfiction. It has not been grammer read by anyone or spell checked apart from word(you gotta love word) Please feel free to leave comments and reviews bad or good im willing to take them. Well anyway enjoy.**

I was alone, I was unhappy, I was uncared for, that's why I started, I had noone who would care if I did and it helped. It made me think about pain, not of him. It made me remeber him leaving and blame him for the pain I cause myself now. Even though he left because I'm worhtless, ugly and stupid, it still helps to blame him, become angry at him for hurting me, making me hurt myself. I know he didnt make me do it but it helps to blame him. Blame him for everything, every dream I have of him, every thought, every memory, every time I cry, every time I cause pain to myself, everything. So why do I still miss him? Love him even? After all the pain he put me through why?

As I lay here dying I thought of how I still didn't understand why he left me. What had I done to him to make him and the other hate me so much they had to leave. A single tear slipped from my eyes as I remembered them. The laughter, smiles, long talks, sweet hugs and kisses from him. Then the sad parts, the glares from her, the near death experiences, the obvious held back emotion and actions from him, I now know was not for my protection as he said but becuase he hated me, and the forest, the forest were I found out the truth, the lies, the secrets.

I couldn't stop the tears from coming now, one by one they fall downmy cheeks as I lay here dying, surrounded by my own blood and hatred. I couldn't even feel the the pain anymore, I was too far gone, I couldn't see either, my eyes were too heavy to open, not that I wanted to see what I have done to my self, I just wanted to go quickly.

I heard the door opening downstairs and footsteps running up the stairs.

"Let me go, let me go quickly please", I pleaded. The people reached my door and charged on heading for my bathroom, were I was lying on the floor hopefully dying.

"Please let me go now, please", I thought desparatley. I didnt want to see hwo it was, I didnt care. I just wanted everything, everyone to go away and this seemed the only was. Death!

The bathroom door flew open and I heard several gasps.

"Bella?", some shrieked, in a high pitched hysterical voice. I knew the voice straight away; it had never left my thoughts. I was too gone to answer back but I heard them talking. I tried to hear what they were saying but it was too quick and everything got jumbled up in my hear. I could hear all of their voices. All of them were here, even him. Why?

I wished they would stop talking, it was hurting my head even more. Suddenly they did stop talking, it was silent apart from the sound of my shallow breathing. I concentrated on that waiting for the moment it would stop altogether. 1st breath, 2nd breath, 3rd breath, 4th.......

I was brought out of my thinking by a strong pressure on my left wrist. It was someone's fingers checking my pulse. I didn't know who's though, I couldn't see. I heard the person quietly counting the beats, they were close enough to hear.

"one.........two.........three..........four..............five..........."

"Her heart beats fading we need to get her back to ours"

No I thought, leave me here to die. Leave me alone, I didn't ask to to save me so don't! I don't want to be saved. I hate living!

I felt a strong pair of arms under me as I was lifted from the ground and held to someone's chest. It was him.

I could tell by his smell as I breathed in, I would never forget that smell. The calming effect it used to have on me had gone. Instead I felt terrified, what was he doing? Where was I going? Why were they trying to save me when I just wanted to die?

I tried to talk but I couldn't feel my mouth to move it. I couldn't move either, I tried to kick to get their attention but I couldn't find my legs. It felt like only my mind was still here, still working but slowly stopping. Like a clock, slowly ticking away until it stops, needing winding up again. Only I couldn't be wound up again. It was the end when I stopped, the end of everything. Just like I wanted. Peace forever.

I heard then calling to someone and felt myself, seconds later being placed on a bed. I heard them all talking but all I could hear was my name being mentioned. I was slowly slipping further away. Slowly my hearing went. I couldn't hear them speaking anymore, I wouldn't hear anything. Next my sense of smell went. I was blank now, only my mind was left. How long before that went too? If it ever went.

I started counting my heart beats again, they were slowing rapidly.

One........... two..................three.............................four........................fi

It stopped! My heart stopped!

A few second later I felt the pain. The pain I hadn't felt before. Hadn't felt because I had no feelings? Or hadn't felt because it was never there before? I didn't know. I didn't care. All I knew was that I wanted it to stop. But it didn't.


End file.
